4thofjulys:

"Americans are being so annoy-"

image

cumfort:

the perks of dating me

  • i’m funny
  • i can cook (i mean order pizza) whenever u want
  • i don’t have friends so we can always hang out

netlfix:

hash browns will be served at my wedding

astound:

Me: * whines about the many things I have to do that’ll take hours 

Me: * eats in bed all day as I whine

person: but what if your parents had aborted YOU
me: well okay for starters i wouldn't have been forced to hear that stupid ass comment you just made
oldirtytammiee:

ooooh shit😂😂 
Who the fuck made this!!!! ? Lol

oldirtytammiee:

ooooh shit😂😂
Who the fuck made this!!!! ? Lol

johnrulestheworld:

hickeys are beautiful because they are the only time a bruise results from love and affection rather than harm